The Pollicle Caper: CATS Fanfiction

    It was supposed to be a simple task; there had been clear instructions so there wasn’t much room for error. Any cat could pull the heist off without a hitch. Unless of course, your name was Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer. Something Macavity hadn’t counted on (as he should) was the idea that the calico twins had a tendency to not listen, knock about, and that with them almost nothing went exactly according to plan. Any head of a successful crime syndicate would normally refuse to put up with tom foolery, but at the same time the Hidden Paw likely saw a silver lining in the situation: mistakes like this only made it more difficult to point paws in his direction, as it was not usually his style. Save for once, but he could argue he was outnumbered, and then admittedly, outmaneuvered.

    The dusty ginger tom kneaded the old, tattered throw rug with his gnarled claws, a cool calm settling over him as he swayed his head to the side, eying the two cats before him, eyes burning like molten gold.

    “Care to explain the grossly unnecessary melodrama you left at the scene?”

    The smaller of the two cats bristled slightly at the sound of his honeyed voice, thumping her tail along the back of her brother, both anxious about the unpredictable leader and annoyed at the entire situation Mungojerrie had gotten them into. The other gave his best cheeky grin, trying to compensate for his own anxiety, though he was sure Macavity could smell fear so he probably wasn’t fooling him. No. Things really didn’t go according to plan.

                                             oOo

    The sounds of running paws filled the old house, the light thumping of two sets and a third, heavier set punctuated by nails on the hard wood floors where there were no rugs. Harsh barks echoed off of the thin walls as two black, orange and white blurs burst into the parlor. One leapt on top of the piano, the other climbed the moth-eaten curtains, clinging like a spider on the wall. There wasn’t much time to catch their breath, the barking was getting louder. The large Pollicle would find them soon enough.

    “Give it ‘ere! You’ll drop it!” Mungojerrie hissed, pointing a beckoning paw towards his twin sister. The smaller cat huffed, lashing her tail, an indignant glare crossing her pretty face.

    “’Scuse me, Mungo, but I kinda ‘ave m’ paws full!” she hissed right back, “An’ I won’t drop’t! Tis safe in th’ bag!”

    “I knows!” But if you jump from up there you could break it!”

    “I could break it by throwin’ it at ya if you like!”

    “Rumple!”

    “Alright, fine!” the she-cat carefully wiggled out of the strap, holding it in her mouth and tossed the little satchel to the piano.

    Mungojerrie stood  up on his hind legs and caught it neatly, putting it over his own shoulder. The bag did fit him better due to his larger size.
“Thanks, Sis! Now, come on!” the tom quipped as he leapt to the floor. Rumpleteazer followed, shimmying down the curtain, causing long rends in some places from her claws. She leapt the rest of the way down and darted after her twin just as the huge Doberman found the room they were in.

“Uh-oh, run!”

    The chase was on again. Normally teasing a Pollicle was great fun, but those that were guard dogs were dangerous. This particular pollicle dog was on such animal. The house might be old and dusty, but it wasn’t necessarily abandoned. At least by Pollicles it wasn’t. A good hiding place what valuables that could collect; valuable being a loose term as there wasn’t much they valued that cats would take an interest in. But they had something Macavity wanted.

    This guard dog was large, and had little care if he knocked furniture over as he tore after the cat burglars, the latter neatly avoiding his snapping jaws. At one point the two split up to distract their pursuer, using their matching pelts to confuse him. Even with the danger, Rumpleteazer was enjoying the chase as long as she stayed out of reach. She left the beast trying to find his way out of a tangle of heavy bedroom curtains and scurried back to the main level to meet up with her brother.
    But he did not wait for her, instead shouting for her to “get out as quick as you can and follow me!”

    Confused, she continued after him even when he disappeared around the corner. Another crash. The dog was free, and he burst into the room a second later, snarling, and charged. Fur standing on end, Rumpleteazer squeaked and bolted to the window of the now trashed parlor, it was open just wide enough for a small cat like her to squeeze through. Looking outside she could see Mungo streaking over the fence and across the street. She had to hurry to catch him.

    It was a tight squeeze even for her, but she managed to pull through just as she felt hot dog breath on her toes. Tumbling out on the lawn, twigs and leaves caught in her fur from the scrawny shrubs, the petite calico pelted on the same path until she all but crashed into her brother, safe. The two heard the crash of breaking glass and a barking dog, clearly having jumped out of the window, before it dissolved into yelps and receded into the distance. The stench of smoke filled the air and the two jellicles peaked out from their hiding place; the house had somehow burst into flames and was burning steadily, thick black smoke billowing out of the windows. Rumpleteazer looked at Mungojerrie, shocked. The latter grinned sheepishly.

    “Eh…they must o’ had a gas leak?”

    She raised an inquisitive eyebrow “Mungo…!”

    “Wot? The stupid Pollicle must’ve broken the stove when we was in th’kitchen!”

    “You didn’t do it on purpose? Then ‘ow did you know we needed to hurry?”

    “…”

    The she-cat suddenly tumbled over in a fit of giggles, causing some confusion on her twin’s part. He wasn’t sure if she was mad or not.
    “Rumple?”

    “Mungo! You know the boss won’t like this, but—Haha! Imagine how mad those mutts’ll be when they find out what happened!”

    The tom grinned, laughing himself. “Yeah! An’ we still got wot we came fo’ so ‘s not a total disaster. We just…weren’t quiet enough to not be seen.”
                                              oOo
     
    “So’s you see, it wosn’t our fault, sir.” Mungojerrie finished, hoping the Napoleon of Crime would believe it an accident. He did think Pollicles were mangy and stupid, after all.

   “Hmm…” the tom hummed, the sound rumbling through his muscular chest so it sounded vaguely like a growl. His tail swished back and forth, snakelike eyes narrowed to slits, mind working over the information.

    “Fine. I find your claim…plausible. Mind you, don’t expect to be completely off the hook. I do not like noisy capers. Now the humans will be involved too and shout arson and the Pollicles will recognize you by sight and smell. Though…you did get what I ordered,” He stroke the satchel under his large paws. Grinning a fang-filled smile that sent chills through both cats.

    “And whoever said it was a bad thing for a Crime Syndicate to perform a little arson every now and again?”

                                                 End